Early Intervention... year 1 almost done.

My beautiful boy is almost finished his first year in early intervention. I can't believe how much he has grown. We had tears for months, biting to no end and so many hard days but  he got through them and only thrived.
When I break down the little milestones we saw him reach this year I'm blown away. When I say "we" I mean us and the ladies in his school. His teacher Karen and her SNA'S Nell and Margaret.  They are so hard-working and deserve all the credit. We love them. 💙

✅ We said goodbye to his dummy. Huge moment. 😊

✅ We managed to wean him from an iPad all day in school to none at all. The iPad stays at home now and I couldn't be more proud of him or the school staff for working with us. I know it wasn't easy for anyone involved. 🖒

✅ We started him on PECS and it's going so well. Slowly but surely and that's the way we want it. I must credit his speech therapist here too, the lovely Emily from Evolve Therapy who works tirelessly with him every week and accommodates me anyway she can. The babbling is increasing so much and those words are in there waiting to come out. 🤞 We've already had "daddad" sounds when he sees Brian and "bubbub" for his cup. And I definitely heard Momma once. It's so encouraging.

✅ He went from being fed in a highchair to sitting at a table and learning to feed himself. We're not there yet but he's trying. 😊

✅ And finally we got him travelling on a transport service and away from my car.  A huge adjustment and all in preparation for the school bus next year. I couldn't tell ye how much I love his escort and driver, Phil and Helen. 2 absolute ladies who adore him and his little transport companion Luke. Every morning he sits there waiting for Logan and his little face lights up when he sees him. 💙

All in all its been a huge year for him. I'll be devastated moving him from the school in Rathduff. They've taken such good care of him but Mallow is where Kirsty goes and I know he'll be in great hands there. I've seen how she has flourished and I can't wait for him to get the same chance.
From his first day to now, I can't believe how far he's come. I couldn't be prouder of my little Logie bear.
 💙💙💙

When the mind runs.


Tonight I was brushing Kirsty's hair and my
mind was wondering... probably because I was trying to drown out her whinging. She hates having her hair done. We limit the bath to twice a week but she still finds it so tough and because she has thick knotty hair it takes forever to do. So my mind drifts off. Mostly about random things that flutter in and out but sometimes one stays put.

For whatever reason I found myself wondering would she ever be doing her daughter's hair. And that's all it takes. The sad stomach feeling creeps in and I start wondering about our future. Will we have grandchildren? Am I awful for even wondering about it? Maybe I should know better. I don't even know if my daughter will be able to become an independent adult let alone become a mother. I see my mom with her and wonder if it'll ever be me. And I feel sad for Kirsty already if it doesn't happen.  Why do we get all these fears and worries? They are so futile and so upsetting. What good can possibly come of thinking that way? But yet I can't help it. It finds a way in and stays put.

So then I started thinking about Logan. Would he ever walk in home with a shy face and a girl behind him to introduce me to? Will I lie awake at 3am waiting for him to come home from clubbing sick with worry incase he's drunk? Or maybe I'll lie awake sad and heartbroken instead that he isn't getting to experience that side of youth. I know which one is worse to me.

For all my knowledge I sometimes feel like I'm back in 2013 and hearing the word autism for the first time ever. It might gets easier but it's never easy.  The smallest things hurt as much now as they ever did. I have no answers and that's the scariest thing.
The mind is a powerful thing. 😔