Bedtime.

Oh bedtime.🙄
It never fails to get my blood pressure soaring.  For the last 6 years myself and Brian, and whoever happens to babysit for us, have laid down with Kirsty to get her to sleep.
Bedtime goes like this... teddy in hand, she toddles off up, often yawning and eyes closing and we think " yep she's tired, she'll be gone in no time". Great. 🤞

Then her arse hits that bed, her head hits that pillow and she does the exact opposite thing kids are meant to do in bed, sleep.
And 3 beds later, I'm confident to say it is actually Kirsty, and not the bed nor the pillow that is the problem.
You see she has this amazing fucking ability to avoid sleep.
10pm or 3am, she's like" no I'm good thanks " and the sandman heads off to another house where the kids welcome him with open arms. 🙄
And she jumps on the bed or flips her whole body like that child in the Exorcist and squeals laughing.

So we lie there with her. We used to lie there holding the iPad until she nodded off, she got immune to that.  Then we tried giving it to her to hold until her eyes couldn't stay open anymore, she got immune to that.  Give her 3 hours and 4% battery and she's still watching some Portuguese version of the hot dog dance on YouTube. She's 6 years old . 6!! 🙈
We say " sssshh" and she says it back. We say " go to sleep " and she says " okayyyy " while laughing. 😒

Lately we've been lying there with some songs on Spotify so there's no light to stimulate her, just pleasant, soothing nursery rhymes in the dark. That worked for 2 whole nights. Last night she fucked my phone on the floor and after 30 minutes of stimming and squealing she fell asleep.
That was nearly 11pm...way past my bedtime. 😂

Well tonight I just thought FUCK. THIS. SHIT.
I'm not doing it anymore. 🖕
I'm putting my foot down and taking back our nights from that little blond haired, blue eyed bowsy.
I sent her upto bed with the iPad and closed the goddamn door. 

That was 40 minutes ago. She has been jumping on that bed so loud and hard since that I'm pretty sure I'll be seeing her through the ceiling in about 3 minutes. I bet if I went up there it'd be like the scene from Home Alone where Kevin realises he has the house to himself. She thinks we've finally lost it and she's won. She's flicking on the lights and playing with the stuff in her room and I really couldn't give a continental shite.
I'll probably find her asleep naked with Senorita Minnie still playing away on her iPad but after what can only be described as a day from burning hell with Logan, I couldn't care less.

You gotta pick your battles in this parenting malarky. I'm choosing sanity tonight.